I’ve spent a lot of time looking backwards this week. I think about my old life at ASB. I think about my colleagues and team. I think of what made us laugh. I think about the families we hung out with and our favorite places to visit on the weekend. And I long for all of it. I long for the beautiful mess that is India. It’s familiar. It’s what I know. And this week I really wanted it.
Never mind our beautiful campus, spacious villa, or happy children. Forget about my team who has generously welcomed me into the fold. Or the gorgeous Thursday night that involved my kids safely playing outside somewhere in the compound way after nightfall. I couldn’t see any of it.
This morning I woke up and went for a walk in the sun. It was early and under a hundred degrees, so it was relatively pleasant. I came home to find two kids awake and entertaining themselves. The day stretched before me with relatively few commitments. I came across this piece about transitions and I felt remarkably better.
For some this piece may be too religious, but for me it spoke to my heart. It reminded me that I am exactly where I need to be right now. It offered grace for this awkward time. It helped turn me around so that I can see what is in front of me instead of behind me.
In particular, this part struck me:
“Where is the grace? It’s right here. I’m already knee-deep in it. I just have to move my feet forward to feel the rush, the wetness, around me. I have to move. When I’m standing still, looking back at where I was, I can’t see the grace I have for today, for tomorrow.”
Such important words for me to hear right now. I am right where I need to be, and I need to keep moving. For as many things that are different, grace remains the same. I need to embrace that.
A good reminder to jump in with both feet.